Name: Poise - AI Dating Coach
Author: Poise

Whether you're just starting to explore polyamory or you've been practicing for years, continuing education matters. Here are the best resources for learning, growing, and connecting in the poly community.

Essential Books

For Beginners

The Ethical Slut by Janet Hardy & Dossie Easton

The classic intro to ethical non-monogamy
Covers philosophy and practical guidance
Recently updated for modern context
Accessible and affirming

Opening Up by Tristan Taormino

Comprehensive guide to open relationships
Different relationship structures explained
Practical advice and real stories
Great for couples considering ENM

More Than Two by Franklin Veaux & Eve Rickert

Detailed poly philosophy
Strong on ethics and communication
Read with critical lens (author controversies)
Still contains valuable frameworks

For Deeper Work

Polysecure by Jessica Fern

Attachment theory applied to polyamory
Essential reading for anyone struggling with security
Practical exercises included
Game-changing for many poly people

Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator by Amy Gahran

Challenging relationship norms
For those questioning traditional structures
Non-prescriptive approach
Validating for alternative relationships

The Polyamory Toolkit by Dan & Dawn Williams

Practical tools and exercises
Good for ongoing relationship work
Specific techniques you can use
Workbook format helpful

Specialized Topics

Designer Relationships by Mark Michaels & Patricia Johnson

Creating custom relationship structures
Flexible approach to agreement-making
Less prescriptive than some resources
Good for experienced poly folks

Love in Abundance by Kathy Labriola

Polyamory for practical people
Less theoretical, more applied
Good for dealing with jealousy
Counselor perspective

When Someone You Love Is Polyamorous by Elisabeth Sheff

For family and friends of poly people
Helps with coming out conversations
Academic but accessible
Validates poly families

Podcasts

Educational and Interview-Based

Multiamory

Research-backed relationship advice
Covers poly and relationship topics broadly
Thoughtful, nuanced discussion
Great back catalog to explore

Polyamory Weekly

Long-running poly podcast
Covers news, advice, and discussion
Community-focused
Accessible for beginners

Normalizing Non-Monogamy

Personal stories and interviews
Diverse perspectives
Normalizing through real experiences
Good for feeling less alone

For Specific Interests

The Swingset

Non-monogamy with swinging focus
Couples perspective often featured
Sex-positive approach
Fun and informative

Savage Lovecast

Dan Savage's advice podcast
Frequently covers ENM topics
Mainstream but poly-friendly
Good for varied perspectives

Making Polyamory Work

Practical focus
Relationship skills emphasis
Hosted by poly therapist
Good for ongoing learning

Online Communities

r/polyamory

Largest poly community on Reddit
Advice, support, discussion
Varied perspectives
Can be overwhelming but valuable

r/nonmonogamy

Broader ENM discussion
Less poly-specific
Good for swinging/open relationships
Active community

r/polyfidelity

Closed polyamorous relationships
Specific to polyfidelity structure
Smaller but focused
Good if this is your style

Facebook Groups

Polyamory Discussion Group

Large, active community
Educational focus
Moderated for quality
Good for asking questions

Various local groups

Search for "[Your City] Polyamory"
In-person meetup coordination
Local community connection
Events and gatherings

Discord Servers

Multiple poly Discord communities exist:

Real-time chat
Topic-specific channels
Various levels of activity
Good for ongoing community

Other Platforms

FetLife

Kink-focused but has poly groups
Event listings
Good for kink-poly overlap
Privacy controls available

Meetup.com

Local poly meetups
Educational events
Social gatherings
Good for finding in-person community

Blogs and Websites

Educational Sites

MoreThanTwo.com

Extensive articles and resources
Controversial author but valuable content
Good foundational reading
FAQ answers many common questions

Polyamory.com

Resource hub
Links to many other resources
Community directory
Starter information

Personal Blogs

Many poly people blog about experiences:

Search for poly blogs
Diverse perspectives available
Personal experiences valuable
Critical reading always important

Therapy and Coaching

Finding Poly-Friendly Therapists

Resources:

Psychology Today (filter for "polyamory" or "non-monogamy")
Kink Aware Professionals Directory
AASECT certified sex therapists
Word of mouth in community

What to look for:

Experience with ENM
Non-judgmental stance
Doesn't try to "fix" your poly
Understands poly dynamics

Coaching

Poly-specific coaches offer:

Relationship coaching
Communication skill building
Transition support
Often more affordable than therapy

Find coaches through:

Community recommendations
Podcast guests often offer coaching
Social media presence
Online directories

Events and Conferences

Major Conferences

PolyamoryCon

Annual polyamory conference
Workshops and community
Networking and learning
Various locations

Beyond The Love

Midwest-focused but draws widely
Educational workshops
Community building
Annual event

Loving More Events

Various events throughout year
Retreats and workshops
Community focused
Long-running organization

Local Events

Find through:

Meetup.com groups
Facebook groups
FetLife events
Word of mouth

Types of events:

Discussion groups
Social mixers
Educational workshops
Support groups

Apps and Tools

Dating Apps

Feeld

Purpose-built for ENM
Best for non-monogamous dating
Couples and singles
Active community

OkCupid

Non-monogamy options
Poly-friendly features
Wider user base
Free with premium options

#Open

Specifically for non-monogamy
Smaller but growing
Couples features
Community focus

Scheduling Tools

Google Calendar (shared)

Free and effective
Multiple calendar support
Share with partners
Standard choice for many

Calendly

Scheduling made easier
Good for complex calendars
Date planning tool
Free tier available

Building Your Library

Start With

For absolute beginners:

The Ethical Slut
Polysecure
Multiamory podcast

For couples opening up:

Opening Up
Designer Relationships
Local support group

For solo poly folks:

Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator
Solo poly-specific online communities
Polyamory Weekly podcast

Continue With

Ongoing learning:

Follow podcasts regularly
Read new books as they come out
Stay connected to community
Consider therapy/coaching

Critical Consumption

Author Controversies

Be aware:

Some prominent poly authors have controversies
Read critically, not devotionally
Take what's useful, leave what isn't
No single author has all answers

Diverse Perspectives

Seek out:

Authors of different backgrounds
Perspectives beyond white, middle-class
International poly voices
Various relationship structures

Your Mileage May Vary

Remember:

Resources are guides, not rules
What works for others may not work for you
Your poly is yours to design
Critical thinking always applies

FAQ

What should I read first? "The Ethical Slut" remains the classic starting point. Pair it with "Polysecure" for emotional/attachment aspects.

Are there poly resources for specific identities? Yes—look for resources specifically addressing poly as LGBTQ+, poly as a person of color, poly while disabled, etc. These exist but may require more searching.

How do I find local community? Meetup.com, Facebook groups, and FetLife events are good starting points. Search for polyamory + your city.

Do I need therapy to do poly? Not necessarily, but many people find it helpful, especially during transition or challenges. A poly-friendly therapist can be valuable.

Related Guides

Keep Learning

Polyamory is a practice, not a destination. Continued learning helps you grow, adapt, and thrive. Poise can help you put what you learn into practice—with better communication in every conversation.

Best Polyamory Resources: Books, Podcasts, Communities (2026)