Best Dating Apps for Poly Couples Looking for a Third (2026)
Which dating apps actually work for poly couples seeking a third? Honest comparison of Feeld, OkCupid, and alternatives for ethical couple dating.
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Finding a third as a poly couple comes with unique challenges. Most dating apps aren't designed for couple dating, and the ones that are have their own quirks.
This guide compares the best options for poly couples seeking ethical connections—whether you're looking for ongoing relationships, casual encounters, or something in between.
The Couple Dating Challenge
Before comparing apps, let's acknowledge the reality:
Why it's hard:
- Many singles aren't interested in couples
- "Unicorn hunting" has given couples a bad reputation
- Most apps don't support couple profiles well
- The dating pool for couples is inherently smaller
What makes it work:
- Being genuinely ethical (not just claiming to be)
- Treating potential thirds as full humans, not accessories
- Using apps designed for this use case
- Clear communication about what you're offering
For more on ethical approaches, see our ethical couples guide.
App Comparison Overview
| App | Couple Support | User Base | Best For | |-----|---------------|-----------|----------| | Feeld | Excellent | ENM-focused | Ongoing connections | | 3Fun | Good | Threesome-focused | Casual/hookups | | OkCupid | Basic | General + ENM | Relationship-minded | | Tinder | None | Mainstream | Wide reach (harder) | | #Open | Good | ENM-focused | Poly relationships |
Feeld: Best Overall for Poly Couples
Why Feeld Works for Couples
Profile pairing: Link your individual profiles together. Potential matches see you're a couple and can view both partners.
ENM-native audience: Users expect to encounter couples. Less explanation required.
Desires system: Signal what you're looking for (Threesome, Singles, etc.) clearly.
Privacy features: Incognito mode lets you control who sees you.
Feeld Pros for Couples
- Designed with couples in mind
- User base understands ethical non-monogamy
- Quality over quantity approach
- Both partners have individual profiles (not shared account)
- Strong in major metros
Feeld Cons for Couples
- Smaller user base than mainstream apps
- Limited in rural/suburban areas
- Premium features cost extra
- May exhaust local profiles quickly
Best Practices on Feeld
- Both partners create complete profiles - Each should have quality photos and bios
- Link your profiles - Makes your status clear
- Be specific about what you're seeking - Use Desires accurately
- Treat matches as individuals - Not just potential thirds
See our Feeld for couples guide for detailed strategies.
3Fun: Best for Casual Threesome Interest
What 3Fun Offers
Purpose-built: Specifically designed for threesomes and couple dating.
Couple profiles: Create a joint profile as a couple.
Straightforward: Everyone on the app knows the vibe.
3Fun Pros
- Clear purpose—no ambiguity
- Specifically designed for threesomes
- Both casual and ongoing connections
- Active user base for this niche
3Fun Cons
- Can feel transactional
- Less focus on emotional connection
- Reputation for flakiness
- Quality varies significantly
- More hookup-focused than relationship-focused
Best For
Couples seeking casual threesome experiences rather than ongoing poly relationships.
OkCupid: Best for Depth and Compatibility
What OkCupid Offers
Partner linking: Connect your profile to your partner's.
Compatibility questions: Deep matching based on values and preferences.
Relationship style filters: Can indicate non-monogamy and filter for it.
OkCupid Pros
- Large user base
- Deep compatibility matching
- Can find relationship-oriented thirds
- Good for finding emotional connection
OkCupid Cons
- ENM people mixed with mono majority
- Partner linking feels tacked-on vs native
- Need to filter through many incompatible profiles
- Some users don't read profiles carefully
Best For
Couples seeking a meaningful ongoing relationship with a third, willing to filter through more profiles to find quality matches.
Other Options Worth Considering
#Open
What it is: ENM-focused dating app
Couple support: Yes—designed for non-traditional relationships
Pros: Focused on ethical non-monogamy, designed for this community
Cons: Smaller user base, may have limited users in your area
Tinder
What it is: The mainstream dating app
Couple support: None—against ToS to share accounts
Pros: Massive user base, someone for everyone theoretically
Cons: Not designed for couples, need to be very clear in bio, many wasted swipes, potential ToS issues if sharing account
Hinge
What it is: "Designed to be deleted" relationship app
Couple support: Minimal
Pros: Relationship-focused users
Cons: Very mono-centric, not ideal for couples
Choosing the Right App for Your Goals
If You Want Ongoing Poly Relationships
Best choice: Feeld or OkCupid
Why: Both have users seeking connection, not just hookups. Feeld's ENM focus helps; OkCupid's depth helps.
If You Want Casual Threesome Experiences
Best choice: 3Fun or Feeld
Why: 3Fun is purpose-built for this. Feeld works too with the right Desires selected.
If You're in a Major City
Best choice: Feeld
Why: Largest ENM user base in metros. Quality matches likely.
If You're in a Smaller Area
Best choice: OkCupid or Feeld + patience
Why: OkCupid has broader reach. Feeld might work but will take longer.
If Privacy Matters
Best choice: Feeld with Incognito mode
Why: Built-in privacy features designed for discrete ENM dating.
Red Flags and Ethics
Whatever app you use, being ethical matters:
Don't
- Create misleading profiles
- Hide that you're a couple until later
- Treat potential thirds as objects
- Ghost people after meeting
- Pressure anyone into anything
Do
- Be completely transparent
- Respect that thirds have their own lives and needs
- Communicate clearly about what you're offering
- Treat people as potential partners, not accessories
- Accept rejection gracefully
For more on ethical approaches, see our guide on avoiding unicorn hunting.
Making Your Profile Work
Whichever app you choose, your profile determines your success:
Both Partners Need Quality Profiles
- Clear individual photos
- At least one couple photo
- Bios that show personality beyond "we're a couple"
- Clear statement of what you're looking for
Be Specific About Your Situation
What potential thirds want to know:
- What's your relationship dynamic?
- What are you looking for? (Casual, ongoing, specific activities?)
- How do you date? (Together only? Sometimes separately?)
- What do you offer as partners?
The Best App Is the One You Use Well
Any of these apps can work for the right couple. The difference isn't just which app you choose—it's how you present yourselves and communicate with potential matches.
Poise helps couples write profiles that attract compatible thirds and craft messages that start genuine conversations. Because finding a third is hard enough without also struggling with what to say.
Download Poise and improve your couple dating communication.
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