Scripts for Ending a Situationship (2026)

Situationships—those undefined not-quite-relationships—are uniquely hard to end. There's no clear status to change, no title to revoke. But they still matter, and ending them deserves clarity.

Here are the scripts you need.

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Why Situationships Are Hard to End

The Ambiguity Problem

Challenges:

• No clear relationship to end
• "What are we even ending?"
• Hard to explain to others
• Unclear what you owe each other

The Guilt Problem

You might think:

• "We weren't serious, so why do I feel bad?"
• "Do I even need to end it formally?"
• "Maybe I'm making too big a deal of this"

The Truth

Reality:

• Undefined doesn't mean unimportant
• Ending with clarity is kind
• They deserve to know where they stand
• Fading out is still ghosting

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When to Have the Conversation

Signs It's Time

You should end it when:

• You know you don't want to continue
• You're avoiding them
• You're seeing someone else and it's not compatible
• The situationship isn't serving you
• They want more than you can give

Don't Wait Too Long

Reasons to act:

• Stringing someone along is unkind
• They can't move on without information
• Your avoidance is already communicating something
• Clarity is a gift

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Deciding: Text, Call, or In Person

Text Is Okay If

Appropriate when:

• It was very casual
• You've only been involved briefly
• You've never met in person
• Safety concerns exist

Call Is Better If

Consider calling when:

• It's been going on a while
• There are real feelings involved
• You have history
• They'd be hurt by text

In Person Is Best If

Meet when:

• It's been significant
• You've been involved for months
• You genuinely care about them
• They deserve the respect of face-to-face

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The Scripts

Basic Ending Script

Clear and kind:

"I wanted to be honest with you about where I'm at. I've realized that I'm not able to continue what we've been doing. I've enjoyed our time together, but I don't want to keep going without being clear about where I stand."

When You're Looking for Something Different

If you want more (that they can't give):

"I've realized I'm looking for something more defined than what we have. I don't think you're in a place to offer that, and I don't want to keep hoping it'll change. I think it's better for me to step back."

If you want less (than they want):

"I sense that you might want more from this than I'm able to give. I don't want to hurt you by continuing when I know I can't offer that. I think we should end things so you can find what you're looking for."

When You've Met Someone Else

Honest approach:

"I want to be upfront with you. I've started seeing someone and I think I want to focus on that. I know we were never exclusive, but I feel like I should be clear about what's changed for me."

When It Just Isn't Working

General ending:

"I've been thinking about us, and I've realized this isn't really working for me anymore. It's not about anything you did—I just don't think we're right for each other in this way."

When You Need to Prioritize Yourself

Self-focused reason:

"I need to step back from dating for a while. I've got some things I need to work on, and I don't want to be half-present with you. This isn't about you—it's about me needing to focus elsewhere."

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Addressing Common Complications

"But We Never Defined This"

If they say that:

"I know we never put a label on this. That doesn't mean it wasn't real or that ending it doesn't matter. I wanted to be clear with you rather than just fade away."

"Can We Still Be Friends?"

If you're open to it:

"I'd like that, but I think we should take some space first. Let's check in after a bit and see how we both feel."

If you're not:

"I don't think that would work for me right now. I wish you well, but I think a clean break is better."

"What Changed?"

If they want to understand:

"Honestly, [brief honest reason]. It's not something I think we can fix—it's just where I've landed."

"Can We Talk About This More?"

If you're firm:

"I understand this is hard, but I've thought about this a lot and I'm sure. I don't think more talking will change where I am."

If you're open to conversation:

"I'm willing to talk more, but I want to be clear that my decision is made. I just want to make sure you have what you need."

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Script Variations by Medium

Text Version

"Hey, I wanted to be honest with you. I've been thinking about where things are going with us, and I've realized I need to step back. I've enjoyed our time together, but I don't want to keep things going when I know I can't offer what you might want. I wish you really well."

Phone Version

"Hey, thanks for picking up. I wanted to talk to you directly because I respect you. I've been doing some thinking, and I've realized I need to end what we've been doing. I know we never defined it, but I wanted to be clear with you rather than just disappear. I'm sorry, and I really do wish you well."

In-Person Version

"Thanks for meeting me. I wanted to have this conversation in person because you deserve that. I've come to realize that I can't continue what we've been doing. I've valued our time together, but I need to be honest that I'm not able to keep going. I wanted you to hear that directly from me."

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What to Avoid

Don't Ghost

Why:

• It's disrespectful
• They deserve closure
• You'd hate it if they did it to you
• It reflects on your character

Don't Fade Away Gradually

The slow fade:

• Taking longer to respond
• Being less available
• Hoping they get the hint

Why not:

• It's passive-aggressive
• Creates confusion
• Prolongs everyone's uncertainty
• Just say it directly

Don't Blame Them

Unless there's a real issue:

• "It's not you, it's me" is a cliché but often true
• Don't invent faults to justify leaving
• You can leave without reasons
• Kindness matters

Don't Leave the Door Open If It's Closed

Don't say:

• "Maybe someday..."
• "If things change..."
• "Let's see what happens..."

If you're done:

• Be done
• Don't give false hope
• Clean breaks heal faster

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After the Conversation

Give Space

What this means:

• Don't text to "check in" immediately
• Let them process
• They may need distance
• Respect what they need

Handle Your Own Feelings

You might feel:

• Sad (even if you ended it)
• Guilty
• Relieved
• Confused about mixed emotions

That's normal. Ending things is hard even when it's right.

Don't Backslide

Temptation:

• Reaching out when lonely
• "One more time"
• Unclear late-night texts

Why not:

• Confusing for both
• Undermines the ending
• If you're done, be done

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FAQ

Do I owe them an explanation? You owe honesty and clarity. You don't owe a detailed justification. Brief and honest is enough.

What if we have mutual friends? Keep what you share minimal. Don't badmouth. Handle it with dignity.

What if I'm not sure I want to end it? Then maybe you need a conversation about defining things, not ending them. Get clear before you act.

What if they take it badly? Their feelings are valid. So is your decision. Be kind, but don't own their reaction.

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Related Guides

• When to Define the Relationship in ENM
• How to Break Up in Polyamory (Ethically)
• How to Have Difficult Conversations in Polyamory

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Clarity Is Kindness

Situationships deserve real endings, not fadeouts. Poise can help you find the words for all the difficult conversations dating requires.