Name: Poise - AI Dating Coach
Author: Poise

Going on a date from Feeld—whether separately or together—works better when you've prepared as a couple. This checklist ensures you've covered the important stuff before anyone heads out the door.

Before the Date: Quick Checklist

Logistics ✓

[ ] Who's going on the date?
[ ] When and where?
[ ] Expected duration/end time?
[ ] Transportation plan?
[ ] Check-in plan during date?

Agreements ✓

[ ] What's okay on this date?
[ ] What's not okay?
[ ] Any new territory to discuss?
[ ] How will you communicate if plans change?

Emotional ✓

[ ] How are you each feeling right now?
[ ] Any concerns to address?
[ ] What do you need from each other?
[ ] Plan for reconnection after?

Safety ✓

[ ] Location shared?
[ ] Check-in times agreed?
[ ] Exit strategy if needed?
[ ] Safe call system in place?

The Full Pre-Date Conversation

Opening Check-In

Start with connection:

"How are you feeling about tonight?"

This simple question opens space for:

Excitement to be shared
Concerns to be voiced
Support to be offered
Adjustments to be made

What to Cover

The date details:

Who they're meeting
Where they're going
What they know about the person
What they're hoping for

The agreements:

What's within your current boundaries?
Anything new they're considering?
What needs explicit okay?
What's definitely not happening?

The feelings:

Any anxiety or nervousness?
Any concerns about the other staying home?
What support is needed?
What would help them feel good?

Agreements to Review

Physical Boundaries

What's okay on this date? Be specific:

Kissing?
Sexual activity?
What kinds?
What about safer sex practices?

Emotional Boundaries

Consider:

How much emotional intimacy is comfortable?
Any topics that should wait?
How much to share about your primary relationship?

Time Boundaries

Agree on:

Expected home time
Flexibility around that
Overnight possibility?
How to communicate if things change

Communication Boundaries

Decide:

How much contact during the date?
"I'm okay" check-ins?
If something goes wrong?
When to share details?

If You're Dating Separately

The Partner Going Out

Before you leave:

Share relevant details
Confirm agreements
Check in emotionally
Express appreciation

Sample script:

"I'm meeting [person] at [place] around [time]. I expect to be home by [time]. Our agreements are [summary]. I'll text when I arrive and check in around [time]. How are you feeling about tonight?"

The Partner Staying Home

What to do:

Don't helicopter check
Have your own plans
Process feelings constructively
Be available if needed

What to prepare:

Something to keep you occupied
Self-care activities
Friend to talk to if needed
Mindset for their return

If You're Dating Together

Pre-Date Alignment

Discuss:

What are we each hoping for?
How do we want to present ourselves?
Who takes the lead on what?
How do we make decisions during the date?

Agree on:

Signals if someone's uncomfortable
How to check in with each other
What "let's leave" looks like
Decision-making about escalation

During the Date

Stay coordinated:

Brief bathroom check-ins
Reading each other's signals
Not making unilateral decisions
Ensuring the new person's comfort too

Check-In Methods

Simple Text System

Agree on check-ins:

Text when arriving
Text at designated time(s)
Text when leaving
Text when home

Keep it brief:

"Arrived safely, seems good so far" "All good here, will be home by 10"

What If You Don't Hear Back?

Have a plan:

How long before concern?
What's the follow-up protocol?
Emergency contacts?
When to escalate?

What If Plans Change?

Communicate:

"Things are going well and they've invited me back to their place. Our agreement says no first-date sleepovers. Can we talk for a sec?"

Then actually talk before deciding.

Handling Concerns

If Someone Has Cold Feet

It's okay to:

Postpone the date
Cancel if needed
Go but adjust expectations
Take the concern seriously

Questions to explore:

What specifically is causing concern?
Is this general anxiety or something specific?
What would need to change to feel better?
Is this the right time for this date?

If There's Disagreement

Don't proceed with unresolved conflict.

Take time to:

Understand each other's positions
Find compromise if possible
Decide together how to proceed
Reschedule if needed

The Reconnection Plan

After the Date

When they get home:

Greet each other warmly
Brief check-in (not interrogation)
Provide what each needs
Plan deeper debrief for later

What Not to Do

Don't:

Demand immediate full details
Be cold or punishing
Interrogate about every moment
Make them feel guilty for enjoying themselves

Don't:

Withhold information if asked
Be dismissive of their feelings
Compare them to the date
Forget to reconnect

What Reconnection Looks Like

Options:

Physical affection (if wanted)
Brief verbal check-in
Quality time together
Going to bed together
Planned debrief the next day

Decide in advance what feels right for both of you.

The Quick Reference Card

Before Date

✓ Details shared (who, where, when)
✓ Agreements confirmed
✓ Feelings checked
✓ Check-in plan set
✓ Reconnection plan made

During Date

✓ Check-in texts as agreed
✓ Communicate if plans change
✓ Text when leaving

After Date

✓ Warm greeting
✓ Brief check-in
✓ Reconnection activity
✓ Deeper debrief later

Template: The 5-Minute Pre-Date Check

When time is short:

Partner going out:

"I'm meeting [name] at [place] at [time], home by [time]. Anything we need to review about agreements? How are you feeling?"

Partner staying:

"Got it. I'm feeling [feeling]. I'll be [plans]. Check in at [time]? Love you."

Both:

Quick physical affection, reassurance, and they're off.

Related Guides

Communicate Before Every Date

A quick pre-date check makes everything smoother. Poise helps you have these conversations efficiently—covering what matters without making it complicated.

Download Poise and date with confidence.

The Couple's Pre-Date Checklist for Feeld (2026)