What to Put in Your Desires Field on Feeld (2026)

Staring at Feeld's Desires list and not sure what to select? You're not alone. The options can feel overwhelming, and choosing wrong might attract the wrong people.

This guide gives you concrete ideas for what Desires to put on your profile based on what you're actually looking for. Copy these combinations or use them as starting points.

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How to Think About Desires

Before selecting, ask yourself:

1. What kind of relationship am I seeking? (Casual, dating, serious?)
2. What's my relationship structure? (Single, partnered, poly?)
3. What connection style do I prefer? (Emotional, physical, intellectual?)
4. Are there specific activities I'm interested in? (Kink, threesomes, etc.)

Your answers guide your selections.

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Desires Ideas by Dating Goal

I Want Something Casual

Select:

• Casual
• Physical connection
• Spontaneous
• Open relationship (if applicable)
• New experiences

Why it works: These signal you're not looking for commitment without being cold. "Spontaneous" adds personality.

Consider adding: One interest-based Desire to show you're a person, not just looking to hook up

I Want to Date (But Not Rush)

Select:

• Dating
• Emotional connection
• Slow burn
• Intellectual connection
• Open relationship or Polyamory (if applicable)

Why it works: Signals you want real connection but aren't desperate to lock something down immediately.

I Want a Serious Relationship

Select:

• Dating
• Long-term
• Emotional connection
• Intellectual connection
• Polyamory or Monogamy (depending on your style)

Why it works: Clear about wanting something meaningful and lasting.

I Want Friends With Benefits

Select:

• Friendship
• Casual
• Physical connection
• Emotional connection

Why it works: The combination of Friendship + Physical signals FWB. Adding Emotional connection shows you want genuine friendship, not just bodies.

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Desires Ideas by Relationship Style

I'm Single and Monogamy-Oriented

Select:

• Monogamy
• Dating
• Long-term (if applicable)
• Emotional connection
• Intellectual connection

Note: Feeld's user base skews ENM, but monogamous people do use it. Be aware you're in a smaller pool.

I'm Single and ENM-Curious

Select:

• Open relationship
• New experiences
• Dating
• Emotional connection

Why it works: "Open relationship" is broader than "Polyamory" for those still exploring. "New experiences" signals openness.

I'm Single and Poly

Select:

• Polyamory
• Dating
• Emotional connection
• Long-term (if you have capacity)
• Whatever specific interests apply

For more detail, see our ENM Desires guide.

I'm Partnered/Married and ENM

Select:

• Open relationship or Polyamory
• Dating or Casual (depending on what you're seeking)
• Emotional connection (if seeking depth)
• Physical connection (if seeking fun)

Make clear in bio: Your relationship status and what you're looking for

I'm Part of a Couple Looking Together

Select:

• Singles (if seeking individuals)
• Couples (if seeking other couples)
• Threesome (if applicable)
• Open relationship
• Whatever dynamic Desires apply

See our Feeld for couples guide.

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Desires Ideas by Interest

I'm Interested in Kink

Select:

• Kink (the broad category)
• BDSM (if relevant)
• Your specific dynamic: Dominant, Submissive, or Switch
• Shibari (if specifically interested in rope)

Best practice: Don't select every kink-related Desire. Pick the ones that are actually important to you.

I'm Interested in Group Experiences

Select:

• Threesome
• Group play (if more than three)
• Couples or Singles (depending on what you're seeking)
• New experiences
• Sex positive

I'm Interested in Watching/Being Watched

Select:

• Watching (voyeurism)
• Being watched (exhibitionism)
• Whatever other relevant Desires

I'm Vanilla but Open-Minded

Select:

• New experiences
• Sex positive
• Emotional connection
• Physical connection

Why it works: Shows you're not closed off without claiming expertise in things you haven't tried.

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Desires Combinations That Work

The "Looking for Connection" Combo

• Dating
• Emotional connection
• Intellectual connection
• Slow burn

Attracts: People who want depth and aren't in a rush

The "Adventure Seeker" Combo

• New experiences
• Spontaneous
• Physical connection
• Casual

Attracts: People looking for excitement and novelty

The "Poly and Serious" Combo

• Polyamory
• Dating
• Long-term
• Emotional connection

Attracts: Other poly people looking for meaningful additional relationships

The "Couple Friendly" Combo (for singles)

• Couples
• Threesome
• New experiences
• Casual or Dating

Attracts: Couples looking for thirds

The "Kink Explorer" Combo

• Kink
• BDSM
• Your dynamic (Dom/Sub/Switch)
• Emotional connection
• Sex positive

Attracts: Kinky people looking for connection, not just play

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Desires to Avoid Combining

Some combinations send mixed signals:

Contradictory Combinations

Problematic:

• Monogamy + Threesome + Couples

This confuses people. Are you monogamous or not?

Problematic:

• Long-term + Casual only

What are you actually looking for?

Overloaded Combinations

Too much:

• Every kink Desire selected
• Every relationship style selected
• 15+ Desires total

This signals you're not clear on what you want—or that you're just checking boxes.

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How Many Desires Should You Select?

Minimum: 4-5 (gives enough signal)

Ideal: 6-10 (shows depth without overload)

Maximum: 12-15 (beyond this, it's noise)

Quality over quantity. Every Desire should actually apply to you.

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Desires You Might Be Forgetting

"Intellectual Connection"

Often overlooked but attracts thoughtful people who value good conversation.

"Slow Burn"

Useful if you don't want to rush. Filters out people looking for immediate hookups.

"Sex Positive"

Signals you're comfortable discussing sexuality openly—important for Feeld's vibe.

"Friendship"

Many great connections start as or include friendship. Don't ignore this option.

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Testing Your Desires

After Setting Up:

Give it a week of regular app use. Are you:

• Getting matches?
• Attracting compatible people?
• Having your Desires referenced in conversations?

If Not Working:

Adjust 2-3 Desires at a time and observe changes. Too many changes at once makes it hard to know what helped.

Ask Yourself:

"If someone only saw my Desires, what would they think I want?" Make sure that matches reality.

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Your Desires + Everything Else

Desires are powerful but not the whole picture. Your photos, bio, and Interests all work together to attract compatible matches.

And once you match, what you say matters most. Poise helps you write opening messages that reference shared Desires naturally and turn compatibility signals into real conversations.

Download Poise and connect based on what you actually want.