How to Respond to "Hey" on Feeld (2026)

You matched with someone interesting. You checked their profile, got excited about the potential, and then... their opening message was "Hey."

Should you respond? How? Is "Hey" a sign they're not that interested, or just bad at conversation starters?

Here's how to handle the dreaded "Hey" message on Feeld.

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What "Hey" Actually Means

Possible Interpretations

The Generous View:

• They're shy or nervous
• They don't know what to say
• They wanted to start the conversation but froze
• They're testing if you're interested before investing

The Less Generous View:

• They're not that interested
• They send "Hey" to everyone
• They expect you to do the conversational work
• Low effort is their pattern

The Truth: It could be any of these. You can't know from one word.

Context Matters

Consider:

• What does their profile look like? (Effort there suggests effort capability)
• How rare are matches for them? (Some people have too many matches to write personalized messages)
• What's their general communication style?
• Did they message first or respond to your "Hey"?

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Your Options

Option 1: Don't Respond

When to choose this:

• You have plenty of other matches
• Low-effort messaging is a dealbreaker for you
• Their profile doesn't compensate for the weak opener
• You're not interested enough to put in extra effort

The reasoning: Your time is valuable. If they're not willing to invest in the first message, they might not invest in conversation or connection. Moving on is valid.

Option 2: Respond in Kind

When to choose this:

• You're curious but not invested
• You want to see if they'll step up
• You're being efficient with your energy

What to say:

"Hey!" "Hi there" "Hello"

What happens next: Either they escalate with a better follow-up, or the conversation dies. Either way, you didn't invest much.

Option 3: Redirect with a Question

When to choose this:

• You're interested based on their profile
• You want to give them a chance but not carry the conversation
• You're willing to do some work but want reciprocity

What to say:

"Hey! What caught your eye about my profile?"

"Hi! What are you hoping to find on here?"

"Hey back! I'm curious—what should I know about you that isn't in your profile?"

Why it works: You've responded warmly but put the ball back in their court. If they can't engage with a direct question, you have your answer.

Option 4: Take the Lead

When to choose this:

• You're very interested in them
• You don't mind doing more of the work initially
• Their profile is interesting enough to carry the conversation
• You're just better at conversation starters

What to say:

"Hey! I saw you're into [thing from their profile]—how did you get into that?"

"Hi! Your photos from [location] are amazing. What was that trip like?"

"Hey! So tell me, what's the story behind [something interesting on their profile]?"

The tradeoff: You might end up doing more conversational work throughout. But some people are better in person than in text, and you might be pleasantly surprised.

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Strategies to Assess Their Actual Interest

The Investment Test

Give them something to respond to and see if they invest:

Your message:

"Hey! What brings you to Feeld?"

Good response (shows investment):

"I've been exploring non-monogamy for about a year and Feeld seemed like a good place to find like-minded people. What about you?"

Poor response (still low effort):

"Just looking around lol"

The Question Test

Ask something that requires actual thought:

Your message:

"Hey! If you could travel anywhere tomorrow, where would you go?"

Good response (engages):

"Probably Japan—I've been wanting to go for years but haven't made it happen yet. You?"

Poor response (low effort):

"Idk anywhere"

The Reciprocity Test

Share something and see if they ask about it or share in return:

Your message:

"Hey! I just got back from [activity]—it was great. How's your day going?"

Good response (reciprocates):

"Oh nice, I love [activity]! Mine's been good—I was at [their thing]. What did you do specifically?"

Poor response (doesn't reciprocate):

"Good"

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Sample Conversation Flows

Turning "Hey" into Conversation (Success)

Them: Hey

You: Hey! What made you swipe right?

Them: Your photo from the hiking trail caught my eye—I love hiking too. Where was that?

You: That's in [location]! It's one of my favorites. Where do you usually hike?

[Conversation develops from here]

Turning "Hey" into Conversation (Failure)

Them: Hey

You: Hey! What made you swipe right?

Them: Idk you seemed cool

You: Thanks! What are you looking for on here?

Them: Nothing specific

You: [Decides this isn't worth pursuing]

Redirecting Successfully

Them: Hey

You: Hey back! I like your profile but I need a little more to work with. Tell me something interesting about yourself.

Them: Ha fair enough. I'm actually a [interesting thing]. I collect [hobby]. And I'm currently obsessed with [interest]. Better?

You: Much better! Tell me about [one of those things]...

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Common Concerns

"Won't I seem rude if I don't respond?"

No. You're not obligated to respond to every match. Non-response is normal on dating apps.

"What if they're just nervous?"

Possible. Your redirecting question gives nervous people a chance to engage. If they can't manage a follow-up even with help, that tells you something.

"What if I'm missing out on someone great?"

You might be. But you can't invest deeply in every match, and some filtering is necessary. If their profile is compelling enough, you can give them more benefit of the doubt.

"Isn't my response also low effort?"

If you respond with "Hey," yes. If you respond with a question or redirection, you've invested more than they did while still protecting your time.

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Gender Dynamics

The Reality

On many dating apps, including Feeld:

• Women often receive more messages than men
• Men often feel they need to message first
• Volume affects investment capacity on both sides

Adjusting Expectations

• If someone has many matches, they might not write personalized openers to all of them
• If someone rarely gets matches, "Hey" might be nervous uncertainty
• Neither makes low effort okay, but context helps you decide your response

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When "Hey" Comes from Someone You Really Want

If you're very interested despite the weak opener:

1. Respond warmly (show you're interested)
2. Give them material (make it easy to respond)
3. See if they engage (test their actual interest)
4. Set boundaries if needed ("I'd love to keep chatting if you're interested—just need a bit more to work with!")

You can do more of the work initially to see if the connection is worth it, but maintain boundaries about what you'll accept long-term.

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FAQ

How many "Hey" exchanges before giving up? If they send "Hey" and you redirect with a question, and they respond with another near-equivalent of "Hey," that's probably enough signal.

Is "Hey" worse than not messaging at all? Debatable. At least they initiated. But a thoughtful message shows more genuine interest.

What if I also send "Hey" sometimes? Then you understand. Consider what would make you send a better message, and what response would help you open up.

Should I address the low effort directly? You can, gently. "I'm into your profile but give me a little more to work with!" is friendly but sets expectations.

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Related Guides

• 30 Feeld Conversation Starters That Actually Work
• How to Keep a Feeld Conversation Going
• Why Your Feeld Matches Aren't Messaging

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You Deserve More Than "Hey"

But sometimes giving people a chance reveals more than their opener suggested. Poise can help you start better conversations—whether you're responding to "Hey" or crafting openers that go beyond it.