How to Report Someone on FetLife (2026)

FetLife is a community, and communities are safer when members report bad behavior. If you've witnessed or experienced harassment, abuse, or consent violations, here's how to report it effectively.

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What Can Be Reported

Terms of Service Violations

FetLife prohibits:

• Harassment and stalking
• Non-consensual content (images, videos)
• Solicitation of minors
• Threats and intimidation
• Spam and scam accounts
• Impersonation
• Illegal content

Consent Violations

Community safety issues:

• Reports of sexual assault or abuse
• Consent violations during play
• Predatory behavior patterns
• Boundary violations

Important Distinction

FetLife is not:

• A court of law
• Equipped to investigate crimes
• A replacement for police reports when appropriate
• Always able to act on he-said/she-said situations

FetLife can:

• Remove accounts that violate terms
• Restrict access for bad actors
• Take action on clear violations
• Support community safety within limits

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How to Report to FetLife

In-App Reporting

For profiles:

1. Go to the user's profile
2. Click the three-dot menu (options)
3. Select "Report"
4. Choose the type of violation
5. Provide details
6. Submit

For content (posts, photos, etc.):

1. Find the specific content
2. Click the report option
3. Select violation type
4. Provide context
5. Submit

Direct Contact

For serious issues:

• Email: caretakers@fetlife.com
• Use for complex situations
• Provide detailed information
• Include evidence if available

What to Include

Good report includes:

• Specific behaviors or violations
• Dates and context when possible
• Screenshots (if relevant)
• Links to problematic content
• Impact on you or others
• Any witnesses

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Reporting Harassment

Types of Harassment

What qualifies:

• Repeated unwanted contact after being told to stop
• Threatening messages
• Public attacks or defamation
• Stalking behavior
• Creating hostile environment

Documenting Harassment

Before reporting:

• Screenshot messages (with timestamps)
• Note dates and patterns
• Save any relevant evidence
• Document witnesses if applicable

Steps to Take

Recommended order:

1. Block the person (stops immediate contact)
2. Screenshot evidence
3. Report to FetLife
4. Inform community leaders if relevant
5. Consider police report if threats are serious

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Reporting Consent Violations

Sensitive Territory

Important notes:

• FetLife takes consent seriously
• They cannot investigate like law enforcement
• Your safety is the priority
• Multiple reports strengthen cases

What Helps

Effective reports include:

• Specific description of what happened
• When and where
• Any witnesses
• Pattern of behavior (if known)
• Other reports you're aware of

Realistic Expectations

FetLife may:

• Investigate the account
• Remove or restrict the user
• Take action based on terms violations
• Not provide detailed feedback on outcome

FetLife typically cannot:

• Conduct full investigations
• Make determinations in ambiguous cases
• Replace legal processes
• Guarantee specific outcomes

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Community Reporting

Beyond FetLife Platform

Community options:

• Local group moderators
• Event organizers
• Community leaders
• Consent boards (where they exist)

When to Use Community Channels

In addition to FetLife:

• When someone poses ongoing risk to local community
• When event organizers need to know
• When pattern of behavior affects multiple people
• When you want community accountability

How Community Reports Work

Typical process:

• Report to event organizers or group admins
• They may have their own investigation process
• Possible outcomes: warnings, bans, community notification
• Varies by community

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What Happens After Reporting

FetLife's Process

Typical flow:

• Report received and reviewed
• May request additional information
• Investigation as warranted
• Action taken (or not)
• Often no detailed feedback to reporter

Possible Outcomes

Actions FetLife might take:

• Warning to the user
• Content removal
• Account restrictions
• Account deletion
• No action (if insufficient evidence)

Timeline

Expect:

• Acknowledgment of report (sometimes)
• Investigation time varies
• May hear nothing about resolution
• Serious issues may be faster

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Protecting Yourself

Before Issues Arise

Prevention:

• Vet people before meeting
• Use FetLife's privacy features
• Trust your instincts
• Build community connections for references

If You're Experiencing Abuse

Immediate safety:

• Block the person
• Remove yourself from dangerous situations
• Reach out to trusted friends
• Consider professional support

Emotional Aftermath

Taking care:

• Reporting can be emotionally taxing
• You don't have to report if it's too much
• Seek support from friends or professionals
• Your wellbeing comes first

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When to Involve Authorities

Police Reports

Consider involving police for:

• Physical assault
• Sexual assault
• Credible threats of violence
• Stalking that extends offline
• Any crime

FetLife Isn't Enough

Legal action may be needed for:

• Serious crimes
• Ongoing danger
• When you need legal protection (restraining orders)
• Evidence that should be preserved legally

Documentation for Legal

If involving police:

• Preserve all digital evidence
• Don't delete anything
• Note dates, times, witnesses
• Consider consulting an attorney

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False Reports and Responsibility

Don't Report Falsely

Important:

• False reports are taken seriously
• Weaponizing reports damages trust
• Report genuine violations only
• Don't report people because you're angry at them

What's Not Reportable

Not typically violations:

• People you don't like
• Consensual activities you find distasteful
• Disagreements or arguments
• Someone saying no to you
• Negative (truthful) things someone said about you

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Supporting Others

If Someone Reports to You

Be supportive:

• Listen without judgment
• Believe their experience
• Ask how you can help
• Offer to help them report if they want
• Respect their choices about reporting

Witness to Problems

If you see something:

• You can report as a witness
• Offer support to affected person
• Don't share details without consent
• Consider community safety

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FAQ

Will the person know I reported them? FetLife typically keeps reporter identity confidential, but absolute anonymity isn't guaranteed. In community reports, your identity may be known.

What if nothing happens after my report? FetLife may not act on all reports, especially in ambiguous situations. You've done what you can. Consider community channels if appropriate.

Can I report something that happened offline? Yes, if the person is on FetLife. Especially if there's a pattern or ongoing risk. FetLife cares about community safety broadly.

What if I'm falsely reported? FetLife will review the situation. If you didn't violate terms, you should be fine. Consider whether there's a conflict that needs addressing.

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Related Guides

• FetLife Etiquette: Unwritten Rules You Need to Know
• Building Your Reputation in the Kink Community
• What to Do When a Scene Goes Wrong

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Community Safety Is Everyone's Job

Reporting bad actors helps keep everyone safer. Poise supports healthy kink community engagement—where consent is paramount and people look out for each other.